hmmm

As I walked towards my appartment on East 5th street this morning, the cool wind whipped at the back of my neck. Instead of heading inside, I walked to the park near Castle Island. I have always loved the fall. The temperature is perfect, foliage beautiful, and the air, crisp and clear. This morning I found myself in a constant cycle of thought. This involving my family, job searching, and friends. Sometimes I think too much. It does me no good. Normally when this happens, I put on my Ipod…go directly to one of my favorite bands Bloc Party, and put on their song, “So here we are.” I am obsessed with it. I have been for over a year. I like all their music, but there is something about this song in particular that I cannot get enough of. It is funny because there is such a small amount of lyrics in it. Here they are…

I caught a glimpse, but its been forgotten
So here we are again
I made a vow, to carry you home… home

I really tried to do what you wanted
It all went wrong again

I made a vow, to carry you home
If you fall sick, if you pass out

I figured it out, I can see again

It kind of repeats itself but it never gets old. Anyway, I love the simplicity of it. It is short and to the point, but there is a beautiful pain behind his voice. I have to go to work now!

Ohh Boston

In my last entry, I was about to jump into a new job and get settled into my appartment. Well, I have settled in, however, did not end up taken the position I was offered. After giving some thought to what I would be doing, I did not have the best feelings about the job going into it. Instead, I decided to continue looking, and find another waitressing job for the time being. I ended up getting a job at Hurricane Orielly’s in the North End right across from the garden. I have been told to be prepared for when the Celtics and Bruins season starts up because of how busy it is going to get! Fine by me! Though I do need a full time job, I have come to realize that it will happen eventually, and I am still very young, being that I turn 22 next Friday. At least I found something for the time being. I have enjoyed Boston thus far. I have made some new friends at work, explored the city life a little, and it feels good being able to do it on my own. On Monday, I met one of my college friends, who is also my best friend and now lives in Brighton, ma, in the city at Copley Square. I hadn’t been over that way since doing my internship. As we walked around, I couldn’t help but look at in amazement at all of the beautiful structures that surrounded me. Still to this day, I am in awe of who crafted these buildings. How careful in their design and placement of pieces and objects they must have been. Cities have always fascinated me, especially at night.

It has been a couple of months since I have sat down to write. My thoughts constantly flowing, I became lost in my everyday cycle of getting up, going to work, coming home, looking for jobs and going to sleep. I just recently found a new job with a marketing firm in Braintree. I am excited/nervous to being a new chapter in my life, although the stress of trying to find a job has been a weight of my shoulders. I began moving into my apartment in South Boston yesterday. A three minute walk to a long five mile stretch of beach is to say the least, beautiful. Somehow I have managed to stay close to the ocean for the last four years and I have succeeded yet again. The apartment is actually owned by my nana- my mother’s mom who now lives on the Cape. I hadn’t visited the apartment in years. The last visit was right after my great grandmother past away so the memory wasn’t the happiest. As I drove past the three floor house, I began to familiarize myself with the area. Once through the door, my sense of smell rose as I took in fragments of scents, exactly the same ones that would hit your nose when first entering my nana’s old house in Milton, MA. My mind instantly when back to that old house. It always had that distinct smell, one that I always loved. Change is nice, however it can also be a bit overwhelming and there is something about those small familiarities that bring a calming to the soul, reminding you that everything will be alright.

The streets are dark my pulse is flat-lined as I’m running to you… you sit completely unaware of what I’m about to do. The air is thick with tension, much like when we are together. My veins are aching as I’m pondering about you and I forever. As I round your corner I am nervous that you won’t be my lover. Knock three times and hope that my pale complexion won’t blow my cover. You answer the door with your innocent face… would you like to leave this human race tonight?

I woke up this morning and my head felt heavy. As I slowly opened my eyes, I realized it was another sunrise, another morning, another day closer to the day I leave this place forever. I felt sick inside. I am ready to leave, but I am overwhelmingly devastated to have to walk across that stage and then after, look at, smile, hug, cry with, and laugh at all those seemingly familiar faces I have known for four years. Life is in constant motion, constant change and transition. When I started this blog, and I apologize for having stepped away for some time, I wanted to capture the transition from sunrise to sunset. I wanted to capture the days that get ever so lost in our in ability to slow down and recognize how quickly we let them slip by. Last week, at a point when I was really upset, I went up to manchester to singing beach with one of my best guy friends Scott. It was a little chilly, but it was all so beautiful at the same time. The stars were out, and as I lay on the yellow sheet I found in my trunk which lay on my bed for the first two years of school, the sound of the sound of the waves pierced my ears and my thoughts went in several different directions. lately I feel as though I am slowly losing some of my best friends. There has been a lot of tension between us and I think it is just because we are all tense. We are “ready to leave,” but we are also thinking about how much our lives are going to change in a matter of only ten short days. This is yet another step in my life. A new chapter I must begin. I am okay with that. And there will be many more as the continuous transitions of the day follow me like my own shadow. Over the past four years, I have fallen head over heals in love, got my heart broken, broken a heart, gained friendships, lost some, found out the kind of person I want to be and the kind of person I never want to be again and I have grown up.

Some things I wish I could do all over again. I wish I could have acted upon certain situations differently, wish I had been a better person, not to say I am not that, but I think everyone can relate to feeling like for a moment, or even several, they wish they were…better.

As an individual, you age with the transitions of the day just like nature ages. I have experienced so much happiness, but I have also experienced struggle. It is the struggles I have overcome that have made me who I am, a more…independent, reflective me. I recongnize the things I have lost that I may never get back. Those things were also just one chapter in my life. If I do ever see them again, or am able to grasp them in my hands for even a second, it could be the start of a new chapter in a script that previously started.

You woke the morning up, running off my darkest night, the longest fight I’ve seen. Here goes a chance I know, chasing on all my chips. let all my ships come by… these days a little bit longer than the last, and these ways, a little bit stronger than the past, and your light, found my bottle in the night, gave me second light, kept me in this fight. And I won’t back down, and I won’t turn around and around, and I won’t back down. Cause no matter what comes crashing down, I’m still going to stand on solid ground. You found me once before, laid me down in the sinking ground the hopeless undertoe.

Counting Down

As April approaches fast, I find myself becoming more aware that the end of my college career will soon be at the forefront of my hectic life. For the past couple of month, I have pondered about what I am going to do when May 16th rolls around and I am walking on stage to get my diploma. As most know, being a college graduate at this time is not the easiest. There are hardly any jobs and the economy seems to keep getting worse. I began thinking, why not do another summer of working hard, save some money and travel! That could be a great experience. This phase in my life, this transition from “college student” to “graduate” is just another end to a chapter in my life. It is crazy to think how many sunrises and sunsets I have seen and lived in this area. I took a break from listening to City and Colour. This morning as I woke up to my alarm blasting in my ear, my mind was racing with thoughts just the same as when I fell drifted off to sleep last night. Something made me think of the band’s song, “Sleeping Sickness” It is a great song and it kind of reflects how I am feeling at the moment. If you want to check it out, run the mouse over the title. You might enjoy it. So I began searching for photography artists on the web.

When I was interning with Global Post in the fall, I gathered numerous pictures for a project the company was working on from Getty Images. This website has amazing photographs from photographers all over the world. I found some great photos of sunrise and sunset.

This photo was taken by Jochen Schlenker. I really enjoy this artists photographs.

Grafrath Monastery and Morning Fog/Jochen Schlenker.

This photo was taken by KYU OH. This image capturing the sunset has amazing colors. The contrast in light and dark areas in incredible.

Today is a beautiful day! The weather is great, perfect day for a walk on the beach. I recently made my first film in my video editing for the web class. Since I had to stick with my theme for the class, my film is about the transition from sunrise to sunset. I can honestly say, when I found out I had to make a film, I thought to myself, this is going to be terrible! I actually had a great time working on it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with it at first. I drove to Manchester to film the sunrise, West Beach in Beverly, to film a little during the day and then again at sunset. I also went to a couple of other beaches around the area to get footage. As I started putting this together, I decided that I wanted to be the main subject in my own film. I decided to have my film revolve around the transition from day to night, but more so about the transitions of life, my life. For a few days, I pondered what to use for voice over. I wrote out pages of my own thoughts but when I read it over, they were too scattered. The day I recorded my voice over, I decided, i’ll just wing this and talk about how I am feeling. It actually worked out perfectly. My film, though it needs a little work< (had some sounds recording issues and such) means a great deal to me, because it true to who I am and how I am feeling. I have posted it on youtube. If you place your mouse over the link below a little window will pop up and you can check it out if you want. Remember, it’s my first film…hope you enjoy!
<embed src= PLUGINSPAGE=http://www.apple.com/quicktime/”>watch?v=cx7vAsdIfm8amp;feature=channel_page

I am in the process of making a film in relation to my theme, transition. I started filming yesterday at West Beach in Beverly, Ma. I got some shots in the early morning sun and then again more towards the middle of the day. As I was filming, I began thinking about what I would want to use for voice over. What will this film be symbolic of to me and to the viewer? Two to three minutes of film can tell you more about a person or a story then one would think. I am focusing on the transitions from day to night. Sure, I enjoy taking pictures of the early morning, afternoon, and dusk, but what does the transition from day to night really mean to me? I have been thinking about this a great deal lately. I am not going to give away exactly what I am doing for my film. But this film, it represents more than just the transition from day to night. I started writing my voice over piece. I wanted it to be my thoughts, I didn’t want to use someones verse from a novel, or line from a song. This is what I have come up with so far…

        Once upon a time, I wanted to know what the true meaning of life was. Everyday occurrences from morning to night seem to get lost in a familiar cycle. Life is there if you open up and let it in. You just have to realize that it is wrapped in an amazing beauty and hidden away between the endless transitions of the day. If you don’t stop for a minute… you might miss it.

I have talked about music several times in some of my posts. Mainly because I am in love with it. Certain artists and songs take me to another place when I listen to them. Right now I am listening to Matt Kearney. He is an amazing and very talented musician. One of his songs, All I Need, takes me to that other place. The lyrics in this song are beautiful.

“Here it comes, its all blowing in tonight. I woke up this morning to a blood red sky. Burning on the bridge, turning off the lights. We’re on the run I can see it in your eyes. If nothing is safe then I don’t understand. You call me your boy but i’m trying to be the man. One more day and it’s all slipping with the sand. You touch my lips and grab the back of my hand, the back of my hand. I guess we both know we are in over are heads. We’ve got no where to go and no home thats left. The water is rising on a river turning red. We all might be okay… we might be dead.

If everything we’ve got is slipping away, I meant what I said when I said to my dying day. I’m holding on to you holding on to me. Maybe it’s all gone black but its all I see. You’re all I see.

If everything we’ve got is blowing away, we’ve got a rock and a rock till our dying day. And if all you’ve got is what no one can break, I know I love you, if that’s all we can take. The tears are coming down, they are mixing with the rain, I know I love you, if that’s all we can take. Julie’s running for miles on a concrete road. Eight feet deep and the rain is still coming down. TV’s playing it all out of town. I’m grabbing at the fray for something that wont drown” Matt Kearney.

I have recently discovered a more unique and interesting way to take photographs of the transitions from day to night. Not only that, but more interesting ways to capture transitions of motion that imitate shadows. In my previous post, I mentioned my trip to singing beach in the hopes to capture shadows outside. I recently took some pictures around the Endicott Campus. As I was doing this, I discovered this fascinating shutter technique my camera has. Thinking about it now, I should have realized a while ago what all of the functions on my camera were. Most of the pictures taken during the day were inside. When it got dark, I went outside and captured some really cool photos!

When I am taking pictures, I like to listen to music. I started listening to The Used again. The first CD they ever released has to be my favorite. One of my favorite songs by them is called I Caught Fire.  Click on the title to check it out if you haven’t heard it.

I took several photos outside using the shutter on my camera. This image above was taken with a slower shutter speed. The main subject in this picture are the lights. I had Jake, the guy in this photo, move around two circular lights while I was taking his picutre. This is what using a shutter can create in an image. It has the ability to capture movement and suspend it in time.

I really love this photo. I decided to post it because this image is capturing a tranistion. I went up to the Endicott Post Center in hopes to get some photos of movement using the shutter on my camera. In this particular photo, the shutter has created a form of imitation and shadow of the subject’s sneaker as he ran.

In my previous post, I mentioned how the transition of sunlight, especially in the late afternoon, casts shadows on objects and the ground. I decided to take another drive up to Manchester by the Sea yesterday afternoon to gather some photographs of the sunlight capturing shadows. After driving around a few random side streets, I ended my journey at Singing Beach. I spent a great amount of time at this beach during this past summer and I haven’t been able to get up there much lately. It was another cold but sunny day… which was perfect for what I was trying to accomplish.

The transition of a shadow on an object can be fascinating to capture in a photograph. An object that once appeared a certain way or color, becomes masked in a darker shade of what it normally when cast in mid-day light. In this first photograph of a window, the sunlight is coming from the right side and is creating a shadow on half of it making the window appear darker than it normally is. One thing I love about a shadow is that when it is cast on something, like this door and window, it reviles the shapes of an object differently.

I drove up to Lynch Park in Beverly, Ma. late Monday afternoon to capture the sunset. I was a little chilly, so I bundled up before heading out. I must say it was a beautiful day despite the nipping of the wind. When I pulled into the parking lot, there was only a few cars scattered amongst the spots. After gathering my things, I stepped out of my car and made my way towards the somewhat snowy path that lead to the center of the park.  There was a peaceful calmness lingering around me as I seemed to be the only human being wandering the parameters. As I walked past the the empty park area on my right, there were about five or six picnic benches placed randomly on the ground. This photo was the first picture I took while on my walk. What I loved about this particular photo is the way the sunlight is is hitting the bench and reflecting of the ground. There are a lot of great colors in this photo. When I think of the transition of a sunset, I envision the sky that was for most of the day filled in by blues, slowly starting to fade to pinks, yellows, and reds. When looking closely at the way the sunlight is reflecting off the snow, there are tints of pink and red pigments. For me, the sun setting on this park bench makes the bench the main object in the frame. The sunlight adds an emotion to this object making it less ordinary.

This photo was taken in front of one of the entrances that leads into the the garden and gazebo area of the park. I love this photograph, particularly because of the lions eyes. Though the loins eyes are closed, there is something peaceful about them. The artist seemed to captured the loins features portraying him as calm and kind as opposed to what a loin is originally thought of as; fierce, strong, and sometimes dangerous.